Saisha Shinde is an Indian fashion designer. She is famous for being the first Indian transgender fashion designer.She was born as a male, but since her childhood, she had feminine features for which she was even bullied by her school classmates. During an interview, she talked about it. She said, My schoolmates used to tease me by saying aye, baila. They bullied me because I was shy, and had feminine features. Those were the worst years of my life. The church on the school premises became a refuge, where I would wait in a corner until everyone else had left for the day.She added,After spending much of my school life feeling like less of a man, I decided to make my behaviour and appearance hyper masculine. It was a 100 per cent conscious decision. We are talking of the early 90s when gay men were reduced to a caricature. An old picture of Saisha Shinde (Swapnil Shinde).In her 20s, she started getting attracted to men. Initially, she thought that she was gay, but later, after a few therapies with doctors, she realised that she was a trans woman. During an interview, Saisha shared that in her 20s, she was suffering from gender dysphoria (distress a person feels due to a mismatch between their gender identity). In an interview, while talking about that phase, she said, I come from a privileged family and was financially sorted as a designer. It was easier to live in denial, but I realised that something was not right. That I had to finally live for myself. My friends didnt know that I was wearing makeup and heels and dressing up behind closed doors. I was living between genders; I felt like a woman who dressed up as a man in rugged boots and a stubble, not the other way around. She further said that at that time she used to get anxiety attacks at that time. The Times of India She said, I was on panic attack pills. The panic attacks shot up the moment I thought I dont want to do this and stopped when I went ahead with my decision. This is when I finally found peace. My features started to change because my medication dosage was already on the higher side. Initially, people would scare me, saying you would have reactions and side effects, mood swings, vomiting and headaches. But I think it is all just a state of mind. I did not have any of these. My body started to change, my features started to change, hair growth started to change. While talking about coping with that phase, she said, It has just been a year for me transitioning and it is still very fresh and there are still days that are very heavy on gender dysphoria for me. Something as simple as dressed up head to toe in a womans attire with full make-up and hair done and still someone would call me sir. Theres nothing wrong in that. He is being very respectful, he just doesnt know the pronouns and the terms but obviously those are the days that dysphoria hits me heavily and the way I combat it is therapy and my amazing bunch of family and friends (help me do that). And of course, talking to other fellow trans women who talk about their experiences, I feel I am not alone and can deal with it..
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